One particular girl was upset she did not receive this random ball. She figured it was because she was new to the group and didn’t know everyone else as well as the others. However, she couldn’t help but feel that it was unfair and felt jealous of the others.

How should she solve this feeling?

First she must find the exact point that she got angry. The trick is to trace it back to the last point before she got jealous.

What exact action occurred right before she got angry?

She saw others receiving the ball that she didn’t.

Now the question is, why did that bother her?

She answered, “cause it wasn’t fair.”

So in this case, we have to things to evaluate:

1) Why must this game be fair?
2) What does fair mean to you? Is this the same for everyone else?

If you can find the point of suffering, then you can evaluate it and figure out what is wrong with your perception. Your perception is wrong since it caused you pain. So, obviously your perception is different from what actually occurred.

The reconciliation of your perception and the truth is how you stop your suffering and help prevent future suffering.

We are happy once we get it. We are mad when it changes. We are sad when it leaves. Then we are depressed once it is gone.

All we can do while it is gone is wish and dream for it to return. And then the cycle starts over again.

We have even gone as far as to say that LOVE is the meaning and purpose of life. Does this also mean that pain in each step…before….during….after… Is that also a purpose and meaning of life?

Is it time yet that we re-evaluate our concept of love? Is it time yet for us to study and analyze this cause of our pain and suffering?

It is true we are creatures of feeling, but we are also RATIONAL beings.

Take a second to consider it. Should the purpose and meaning of our life be something that is fleeting, inconsistent, reliant on others, destined to change and problem causing?

This ‘love’ is the reason we are born. This ‘love’ is the reason we suffer. This ‘love’ is the reason we are reborn.

Instead of blindly wishing and searching for love, wouldn’t it be better to be actively investigating and evaluating the cause of our problems?

The real meaning of life is to learn from our past mistakes and to stop making them. That includes blind dreaming and wishing for…….love.

Along the way, it was becoming obvious that she was having trouble hiking down the steep hill. The boyfriend then suggested that she turn around and face the steep incline and hike down backwards. He was sure that this would be better for her. Instead of taking his advice, the girlfriend just gave him a look (that said, leave me alone) and continued struggling down the hill. When the girlfriend shrugged off his advice, the boyfriend was a bit mad and frustrated. He spent the whole rest of the hike resenting his girlfriend for not listening (and complaining about how hard the hike was).

How should he deal with this feeling?

We are going to use the KPY USA method taught in this year’s retreat. This method was handed down from Luang Por Thoon to Mae Chee Yo to Phra Anan and Neecha.

The first step is to find the exact point at which his suffering started. He first felt discomfort, stress, anger, or suffering when his girlfriend did not take his advice. So, obviously, he wanted her to take his advice.

Then we ask why?

Because he felt she should have listened to him.

This is a secondary cause…. so we ask him again….why should she have listened?

Because he felt that he knew better than her….

Ahh….we find the true cause of his anger, he felt that she should listen to him since he knows better. He is more athletic and more experienced with hiking. She is not as experienced and therefore she should listen to him…

So, his perception was:

He knows better than her.

If she does what he says, it will definitely turn out better.

Is this a permanent and universally true perception? Will this perception hold true in every situation?

After some deep contemplation and inflection, the boyfriend realized that no, what is good for him, is not always good for everyone else. Things that are good now might not be good in other situations. Things that once were good, might no longer be good at another time. He realized that the cause of his anger came from the assumption that had his girlfriend followed his advice (order) it would have solved the problem. But that is just that, an assumption, not a fact.

Once he saw that the cause of his anger and discomfort was actually himself and his wrong perceptions, he understand his mistake and shook off his anger.

2. To meet a teacher with Sammaditthi(Right View – if your teacher teaches you wrongly, even if you are dedicated and diligent, you will just go the wrong way. That is why Siddartha had to leave his tapasa teachers, and Sariputta and Moggallana left Sanjaya)

3. You have the right concentration (You need to take what you know and put it into action consistently and continuously in order to see proper results)

If you have these three qualities, you stand to have a very good change of obtaining your goal.

It is just like getting a degree:
1. You need to have enough money, family support, desire, respect, brains and opportunity to go to school.

2. You need to find a school that can actually give degrees and can teach you properly what you need to learn. (You can’t just go to any school)

3. Once you are in school, you need to continuously do the work, study, go to class and learn how to ask questions. If you skip class, take long extended vacations, your graduation date will be further and further away.

However, on the brighter side, if you have all three of these steps, you have a very high chance of graduating.

In the Buddha’s time, some people have cultivated enough Parami to be enlightened. They even had the Buddha there to teach them. But because they made a huge mistake, they had to receive the punishment for their actions. For example, both Devadatta and Prince Ajasattu had cultivated enough merit to be enlightened, however, they both committed heinous crimes (Injuring the Buddha and killing one’s parents, respectively) which results in an immediate rebirth in the lowest Hell realm. However, when they finish their punishment, they will be born as humans and achieve enlightenment as foretold by the Buddha himself. However, their evil deeds postponed their enlightenment for many uncountable lives.

Nirvana is like when you turn off a light. When you turn it off, where does the light go? Can you answer that? You could say there is no more light, but that is not true, where did the light go? No one knows.

The important thing is do we believe in the Buddha? If we do, then we believe in the Nirvana that he talked about. The important thing is not WHAT Nirvana is, but how can we achieve it?

The spectacular thing about Buddhism is that if you walk the true path of the Buddha, you can see real, lasting results in yourself. That way, YOU will know that his teachings are REAL, YOU will know that the PATH is real. If you know the PATH is real, therefore, we can confidently assume that the ENDING will also be real. Even if the ending is not real, if we stay on the PATH we have become better people and that in itself is its own reward.

No one can know what the Nirvana is, but the Buddha says it exists. The Buddha also teaches how to walk the path to Nirvana. Since we can’t know or grasp the concept of Nirvana, let us first learn the path.

Personally, I have practiced what the Buddha taught, and so far he has not been wrong about a single thing. I have seen the improvements in my life from my practice. I have seen the extinguishing of certain undesired personality traits. I have experienced the freedom of changing wrong perceptions to right perceptions. And with those right perceptions, I have truly seen the PATH.

Personally, I have practiced and studied many many methods, Just in the practice of meditation, there are over 40 different ways of practice, however, 10 years ago, I started practicing under Luang Por Thoon. He passed away on Nov 11, 2008, and he his remains proved that he was an Arahant. Through his teachings, I and others practicing in this method have been able to see the truth that the Buddha taught and also the release that comes from the destruction of wrong perceptions and wrong views. Not many real Arahants exist in the world and I count myself amongst the lucky few who get to practice with one. The benefit of practicing in the footsteps of an Arahant is that you know his teachings are aligned with Sammaditthi (right views)since he was able to liberate himself. This saves a lot of time from guessing whether your method of practice is right or wrong and we can wholly dedicate ourselves to vigorous practice.

If the world we live in and are reborn in is full of suffering and desires, then let us call a place that has no suffering or desires, Nirvana.

If our life results in unending suffering, would a place that had no suffering be a good place to go?

If our lives require work, pain and toiling, would a place where there was no more work be a good place?

If the world is a place where we are born and reborn, born and reborn, born and ….then nirvana would have to be a place we were are not born, not reborn, not born again, not reborn….

If the world has no true ever-lasting happiness (even when we are happy, we hope and strive that it doesn’t leave us, when it does, we are left with more suffering), then would it be reasonable to assume that nirvana has to temporary happiness or suffering?, that is only has permanent happiness?

In our world, suffering comes from wanting and working and striving, then would nirvana be a place where we no longer want, need to work, or strive?

If we do not obtain nirvana (which is the opposite of our rounds of rebirth), then we are continuously born and reborn, born and reborn, born and ….., then if we get to nirvana, doesn’t that mean we won’t have to be born or reborn ever again? Is that eternal?

If life is suffering (every breath, every hunger pain, every desire and failure to get what you want), would you want an eternal “life.” Wouldn’t you rather just be eternal, without the life?

“i have catholic friends say that if historical records disproved christ existence christianity thesis will fall? do u buddhists rely on life a buddha as if hsitorical records will be at stake and once buddha’s life just in case not historical will it damage buddhism?”

Allow me to paint you a visual image. Imagine a beautiful 6 story sand castle built on the beach. It is beautiful and is a place for all things to come and stay and enjoy. However, since it is built out of sand, when the tide comes in, what happens to the castle?

Now, imagine just sand, all of the sand in the world, no matter how much water comes in, the sand will still exist. No matter if there is an earthquake, fire or even human involvement, the sand would not ever disappear. Even the sand that is taken by the water, still exists in the water.

Even so, with or without the Buddha, the Dhamma (what the Buddha taught) would always exist. Why is this? Because Buddha did not invent it, he did not make it up. What he did was merely tell us what already exists in the world that we have not seen for ourselves (because we never really even knew to look). Buddha taught us from the nature around us, he taught us from the actions we have made and are making, he taught us from the way the world interacts within itself. So, without Buddha, the Dhamma would always exist, it has always existed and will always exist. We just wouldn’t know it yet.

For example, say we are all walking in the hot desert, we are HOT and dehydrated, we are all so thirsty, but there is no water left. All we see are these ugly, prickly cacti. We all feel sad and depressed. Some of us pretend to be happy and put on a happy face. However, we all feel the undeniable heat from the sun and the fatigue of walking on the sand. What is someone came and told us that if we cut the cacti open, there would be some water in there? Would we thank him? Would we appreciate it? What would happen if he didn’t come along? Would we ever know that the cactus had moisture in there? Maybe, but not likely.

So, it doesn’t matter who teaches you the truth, it doesn’t matter who’s religion you profess, what matters is that what you are doing is the undeniable truth and that it doesn’t hurt anyone AND creates benefit for the world and yourself.

Think of it like this, you work really hard and amass a fortune. In the process, you also have some outstanding debts. Well, when you go to a health spa, what goes? All your belongings? No, just you, not even your clothes get massaged! However, if you do default on your debts and loans, what will happen? You will have to go to jail. What goes to jail? Just you, not your house, belongings or friends. While you are in jail, the government settles up your tab. If when you come out, you have no money left, then you have to start all over. Sometimes you can amass a fortune again, some people can’t.

When you go to the next life, where ever it is, only you go, the real you, not your impermanent body. Not the body that was a tiny 5lb mass when you were born, or the body that was soft and had little muscle as you were growing up, not the body that bore sickness and pain with you as you moved through your existence.

The important question is not what is reborn in the next life, but:

1. How can I get the best rebirth possible?
2. If it is so hard to get a preferable rebirth, is there any way to escape it?

Every single disciple had been cultivating and building up to this life for over millions and millions and millions of uncountable lifetimes. Each person’s enlightenment had been predicted by a past Buddha. They achieved Arahantship in this life, but this is not the first life they have practiced. If we read the Jataka and/or Tipitaka, we see that they have been working towards this goal for many many lives.

All Karma is the result of actions or speech. All actions and speech come from thoughts. All thoughts come from Point of Views. As long as you still hold the same Point of Views, you will have the same type of thoughts and then you will do the same type of action or speech. If you keep doing the same type of speech and action, you will continuously give yourself a chance to reap the karma you will receive.

In every case you need to find out what your Point of View is.

Take this example – a man A found out his man B was cheating on man B’s girlfriend. Then man A decided to tell the girlfriend of Man B’s infidelities. After Man B and his girlfriend broke up, Man A started dating Man B’s ex-girlfriend. Now Man A and the girl have been together for a while, however Man A is afraid his old karma will catch up and break them up.

Your results: You end up with the girl, but are AFRAID you will lose her.
Your actions: You betrayed your friend’s trust and told the girl
Your thoughts: You cared about the girl and felt that your friend was doing wrong
Your Point of View: If someone knows the truth, you SHOULD tell the other person

You need to evaluate whether or not your point of view is correct. Just because it turned out in your favor (for now) it doesn’t necessarily mean you did the right thing. If you always tell the truth, will it always turn out good? People get punished for telling the truth all the time. When a girl asks you if she looks fat, should you always say yes? Not necessarily, you should say things only when they don’t HURT the other person. People often misunderstand the teaching of “refrain from false speech” as “Do not Lie.” False speech includes chiding, teasing, joking, scolding, lying and any other use of speech that can hurt others.

The Buddha never taught that we must tell the truth. He taught that people should not tell lies and should not hurt people with your words. Did you hurt anyone with your words? Did you hurt the girl by letting her know? Did you hurt your friend? If you did, what you did was wrong and karma will follow.

However, if you change this wrong point of view, and begin to live life correctly, not focusing on the speaking of the truth, but focusing on not hurting people with your words, you would have done the best you could do in this case. So, from now on, if you want to create good karma, learn how to not hurt people with your words, even if it is the truth.

Just like if someone stole a million dollars out of greed, but realized what they did was wrong, and spent it all on the homeless and helping monk and nuns, when they are caught (karma) they will still be in trouble (b/c they stole), but their actions after showed they have changed their point of view. So, when the judge gives the sentence, it will be a lot lighter.

I cannot guarantee how karma will punish you, but I can guarantee that if you adjust your point of view to the correct one, karma will not be able to punish you so hard. But if you still do the same things (with your speech) one day, you will get the full punishment.

Most important is that you shouldn’t be afraid of karma. Sometimes your FEAR will help karma punish you. By FEAR, you will act in a certain way, talk in a certain way and also make certain decisions, this will HELP karma punish you.

Good deeds are needed to cultivate Parami. Good Deeds and Good Practice go hand in hand.

Say you want to cross a river from one side to the other, we need a boat. If we don’t have a boat, we need to swim. If the river is wide, then we might need a small raft. People need to rely on others to either lend them a boat, teach them to swim or provide life rafts in order to cross the river. As such, we need to do good, to get the results of our own actions in order to help us with our practice and concentration. Even the Buddha had to spend infinite amounts of lifetimes in order to fill his Parami in order to become the fully self-enlightened Buddha.

Understanding the 4 Noble Truths is very important, however, it is not easy.

According to the Venerable Acariya Thoon Khippanyo, it is not hard to KNOW of the Four Noble Truths, however, it is very difficult to have DIRECT EMPIRICAL KNOWLEDGE (understanding) of the Four Noble Truths. Anyone who wants to know of the Four Noble Truths only has to ask someone, read a book, or search the internet. However, someone who wants to have direct empirical knowledge has to analyze themselves, their unique faults, their unique wrongdoing and THEN find a way to fix their wrong views to right views.

According to Phra Ajahn Thoon, the key element to the Four Noble Truths is in the First Truth. Without personally experiencing and/or seeing direct suffering, one will not truly desire escape from it. Just as people look for food when they are hungry, even so, when one is suffering, one will try to find a way out.

Many people teach that you should detach yourself from anger, greed and delusion. For anyone who has practiced they will know that this is hard to understand and even harder to do. However Phra Ajahn Thoon gives a very interesting parallel. Imagine that you need to pick fish out of a barrel. As you blindly reach into the barrel, you do not realize it, but you have picked up a poisonous snake. As you slowly take it out you see that you are holding a dangerous snake and not a fish. At that point, do you need to even think about or train how to release the snake? No, the important thing is to KNOW and DIRECTLY understand the danger, the LETTING GO is automatic, it does not need to be practiced. However, the KNOWING and DIRECTLY UNDERSTANDING must be practiced.

As for the Four Noble Truths, KNOWING of the 3 Characteristics of existance (Dukkha, Annicam, Annata)is easy, but DIRECTLY and EMPIRICALLY understanding them is hard.

Forgiveness is not and can not be forced. Forgiveness must come through understanding. Understanding must come through internalization and seeing through the other’s point of view.

Once you understand, you don’t need to forget. You can remember it, with the right understanding. When we get angry, upset or unhappy, we often fail to see that we have a part in it also. We always think that someone hurt us. We must try to see how we have allowed ourselves to be hurt. How we allowed ourselves to be angry. How we refuse to see the truth that exists in the world, just as no one can force us to eat, no one can force us to be angry.

If you were to close your eyes and think of a place, you do not immediately imagine the whole thing. You must think of each thing, each tree, each house, each street, each person. Each thought was a choice of yours. Each feeling was a choice. Can you truly blame the place for creating the feelings? No, it was merely a factor. You are the decision maker in which way your thoughts and feelings go.

It all started like this:

Today my friend and I were supposed to go talk to a client. The appointment was at 10:40am. My friend wanted to stop by the bank first and left our house at 10:00am. He asked me if I was still planning on going to the meeting. I said, “Of course.” Then my friend left for the bank. At 10:35am, I left my house and headed for the restaurant where we were supposed to meet our clients.

On the way, I was bombarded with thoughts. They went along these lines:

“I bet my friend is gonna finish at the bank and go wait for me at the restaurant. Then that will make it look like I was late! Then my friend will look good to the clients but make me look bad. I am pretty sure he will do this, since he has that kind of personality and has done things like this in the past. ”

I started getting anxious and a little upset with my friend. I reasoned that the bank trip only took him 5 minutes to walk and at most 20 minutes to make the deposit. that leaves another 15 minutes until the meeting which was only one block away. Of course he wouldn’t wait in the bank. It would be reasonable that he would wait in the restaurant.

In addition to this logic, it also started to rain. This made me even more sure that he would not wait at the bank or outside. So, he would definitely head to the restaurant.

I began thinking of excuses as to why I was on time, but arrived AFTER my friend and how to explain that I wasn’t late or lazy. The more I thought of excuses, the angrier and more anxious I became.

But then I remembered what the monks taught me. They said to think about impermanence. They said that anything and everything is not always what you think. They said that everything has a chance to occur. Everything comes in pairs.

I realized that I was ASSUMING one outcome and one outcome only. I realized that I was GUESSING what would happen and searching for evidence and reasons to back up my assumptions. I realized that this was causing me premature stress and anxiety, not to mention anger. I started to think of the other possibilities. I started to think of the impermanence in the situation.

He might be in the bank. He might be outside (in the rain). He might be at the restaurant.

The clients might be at the restaurant, or they might not be there yet.

I might get there at the same time or even before my friend. Then I would be the “bad” guy.

There are so many other possibilities that I can’t even think of. My mind was racing with the possibilities. To be completely honest, I still thought it would be the I previously and originally imagined it, but I was not as certain or positive it would turn out that way. I felt a twang of doubt in my mind. That helped keep some of the anger and anxiety away. I thought about what I would say IF it turned out the way I feared, not what I would say WHEN IT  DEFINITELY turned out the way I assumed. I also thought of what I would do IF it didn’t turn out the way I feared.

When I walked past the bank, I found my friend sitting in there reading a newspaper. I knocked on the glass and called him to join me outside. Wow, my previous assumptions were wrong! As he came out, we started to walk the one block together to the restaurant. On the way, I asked him how the deposits went. He mentioned to me he only made 1 out of 2 deposits because he understood he could only deposit a particular amount due to a limit. I explained to him that there was no daily limit and that he could deposit as much as he wanted. He was surprised and I could tell he wanted to go back and deposit the rest of his money that he was still carrying with him.

We were right in front of the restaurant, and I could still see the twinge of regret in his face. I told him to go back to the bank and make the deposit while I go meet the clients alone. He was reluctant at first, but then agreed.

This situation taught me many things, but most of all, it proved the impermanence of my thoughts, of my assumptions and of my guesses. I will remember this situation as proof of the impermanence that exists in this world. So that the next time I start to assume and guess wildly, I will remember this instance.

After breaking up with a girlfriend who I loved very much, getting over her was extremely hard and painful. Each day was a grind. Each day was tough. Everything I saw, reminder me of her. Everything I thought of was about her. I couldn’t do anything without seeing her in there. I felt like my life could not exist without her and now that she was not in my life anymore, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Many people told me to just forget about her, others told me time would heal my wounds, but both just didn’t seem to work. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and time seems to have stopped.

One day, as I was riding in the car with my mom driving, my phone rang. Just a normal phone call from a non-specific person. Nothing special. And just like every other day, it made me think about her. It made me think about her calling me. It made me think about why she wasn’t calling me. It made me think about her specific ring-tone I used to have for her. It was a ring-tone that she recorded for me early on in our relationship. Once the phone rang, I would always hear her voice saying, “Hey baby, please pick up the phone, I miss you!” I always thought this was so cute of her and loved her for it. But today, as I looked at the phone, I immediately thought of her and how cute she was. However, a thought entered my head. I thought, was it actually her who was cute each time? Or was it merely a recording of her voice? Each time I heard her voice, did she know about it? What it actually her being cute? Or was it a recording that she only recorded once that kept replaying and giving her credit for it?

I was overcome with confusion. This whole time, I was overwhelmed with her cuteness, but it was not actually her. It was merely a recording on my phone. It made me think about all the other things I attributed to her.

I attributed her beauty to – clothes.

I attributed her cuteness to – a phone recording

I attributed her kindness to – some T-shirts she bought me

Each of these things was ONE occurrence. Each of these things happened ONCE. Yet, I kept giving her more and more credit for each time I merely SAW these items. It made me think about the actual person who I thought I loved and couldn’t stop thinking about. Without these ITEMS, would she still be Cute? Kind? Beautiful? All the things that I LOVED about her, needed to be reflected in items. I saw that I was giving my love to items, and attributing that to her.

The actual things about HER that I loved, were harder to find. Once I stripped away the sentimental points, the gifts, the ITEMS, what was left?

All that was left was the arguments, the attitudes, the cheating, the yelling, the nagging……

Once the sentimental things were stripped away, I was able to see clearly what was left. And what was left, was not what I previously pictured about her. I was able to START seeing what she still represented. Why we broke up in the first place. Why are argued all the time in the first place.

As I went over it and over it, what made me miss her, were the gifts, the phones, the sentimental THINGS that reminded me of her. Once I understood this, that these things ARE NOT her, ARE NOT representative of HER, I was able to see HER more clearly. And what I saw, was what I wanted to break up with in the first place.